Monday, April 10, 2017

This morning I had an incredible realization.
I finally found the significance of 44, 
Forty four.

I woke up from a dream I was having, walking towards what seemed like a tree growing up alongside a cliff face.  A very steep and towering backdrop to this isolated pine.  As I walk closer I notice something odd.
This tree is laying directly up against this,
Now that I am so close, encompassing an overwhelmingly so,
Creating a fissure against this mass face of stone and ,metal.

Upon closer investigation I see that this lifeless  horizon is cutting this beautiful pine in two.  In surprise I look even closer to find that this Cliff is actually a man-made structure, like a buildings face.

Walking along this structure I started having some thoughts of the day.
I turn around to see the split pine from a distance to notice something odd about this mass cutting it in two, it is a huge dumpster!
This beautiful pine is growing from the trash that humanity has discarded and abandoned,  forgotten about completely.  It is just sitting there idly in the back of my consciousness, 
Hiding away from any personal regret or responsibility.
This is when I noticed something very significant,
The severed tree Laupon this mass of human remorse is in the form of a
4.
I have always had a fascination with this number 4.  It is my lucky# as you may have already guessed, as is 
44.
My sister is four years and four days older than I.
If I go to the birth records, maybe even four hours and four minutes older too!
Waking up from this dream of the fourest growing from the rubble of humanity 
I notice the time.  It's about fifteen minutes to five in the morning.  This is on a Tuesday of April, The fourth day of the month.

I start thinking of the hell Trump is bringing our nation.
He just publicly gave permission to Assad to gas and kill the citizens in Syria.  
Is this how low of a nation we have become?
Shying away from any conflict with the Russians?

This is where I noticed something else odd,
I am smiling and still feeling something good is going to come from this travesty our government has become.  I was feeling very good about Obama being elected as the 1st African American president, coincidentally,
He is the 44th President of the united ? states

The year he left office to this joke of a man Trump, 
I am now 44 years old.
Wait a second! 
What time did I wake up?
Sixteen minutes to 5:am (4x4=16)
Which on a digital clock would mean I woke up at
4:44 AM!!!!!!
On April 4th!

And no,  this is not the fools day,
I promise you.

This is way too many 4's for anything bad to come about.  This political revolution is what our nation needs to refocus The original intent and purpose of a government.
It is meant to be a part of the people,
And for the good will of all men, Women, children of any color ,race and or creed.

Through this tragedy of trump, (T'n'T)
Our whole nation will finally wake up and realize what it takes to be happy.
We must all start working together as a nation to help one another in repairing our personal lives,
Our communities and its infrastructure,
Our educational system and it's methods to develop our growing youth
In a completely different worldly environmoent.

On top of all this, 
we need to restructure our governmental process and procedure 
to really make it accessible and more relevant 
for each and every citizen of this nation,
Not just to those who can afford it.




Tuesday, November 1, 2016

What is Buddhism?

Yes, it is....

What...??...

I am so glad you now understand,

why I now know not to no,
you KnoW?



O.K.?

is what O.K.?

...No.....

...what is never O.K.,
for then why would you be asking?

---maybe this is it's purpose....
----What?

~~~Yes~~~


This term O.K. also brings about many thoughts of the American society we now live,
do you know what it really means?
the usual joke is that it means orl korrekt,
or all correct.

I've come across other idea's of it's meaning,
Obsolete knowledge,
obliterate knowing,
others kindness,
omniscient knot,
or not at it may be.....

it's funny to think that the most popular American english word
ain't really that'a'right grammatically......



saw an incredibly ironic commercial for walmart, (I refuse to capitalize an industry I disrespect)

it says by shopping with them your placing an investment in the American dream...

-what is this dream?

preying upon the ignorance of a public whose major source of news is from a TV set, and or computer screen?


The American dream
as individuals through a government,
we become one.

But,
whose one do we become?

Just read up on Ri/Bi :(Case 2 in Mumonkan)

inward and outward action of the mind.
-this or that?
+ or -,
inward or outward?

People are constantly trying to reduce all questions and worries to a single entity,
or God,
if you will.

Where in real life,
simply looking at electricity and the structure of an atom,
both positive and negative(+&-)
are needed to make a charge or reaction.
All life/energy/being is dependant upon this + and - interaction.
What is the cost of convenience, and all the cheap products out in the markets?

I mean, what is convenience, really?

I feel it is the point when one selfishly decides that their effort
is not worth  what they are accepting.

it is almost like a personality and or ego function of putting oneself
 'above and or better than'
whatever it may require to produce oneself,
even within one's self.

Yes,
the will of man,
is the easy way out.



What makes up a thought?

Well, the brain....What makes up the brain?

uhhhh, neurons and tendrils and axion and,,,,,,

What makes these?

atoms, + and - electrons...

and what makes them?

uhhhhhh,,,,,,,

It is pretty simple when it comes down to it,

You do.
Perfection is a human  conception,

being that it is also a human mystery.
AKA
unreality and or fiction.

Because with 'perfection'
both This AND That
are right and or  correct.

overtly eliminating any form of  choice
or human determinism.

Saturday, October 15, 2016

 I just read over this and thought it may be new to you as well,

any of you loyal family members who may be reading my life's daily notes....;\


The Most Important WikiLeaks Revelation Isn’t About Hillary Clinton

What John Podesta’s emails from 2008 reveal about the way power works in the Democratic Party.

The most important revelation in the WikiLeaks dump of John Podesta’s emails has nothing to do with Hillary Clinton. The messages go all the way back to 2008, when Podesta served as co-chair of President-elect Barack Obama’s transition team. And a month before the election, the key staffing for that future administration was almost entirely in place, revealing that some of the most crucial decisions an administration can make occur well before a vote has been cast.

The cabinet list ended up being almost entirely on the money. It correctly identified Eric Holder for the Justice Department, Janet Napolitano for Homeland Security, Robert Gates for Defense, Rahm Emanuel for chief of staff, Peter Orszag for the Office of Management and Budget, Arne Duncan for Education, Eric Shinseki for Veterans Affairs, Kathleen Sebelius for Health and Human Services, Melody Barnes for the Domestic Policy Council, and more. For the Treasury, three possibilities were on the list: Robert Rubin, Larry Summers, and Timothy Geithner.
Michael Froman, who is now U.S. trade representative but at the time was an executive at Citigroup, wrote an email to Podesta on October 6, 2008, with the subject “Lists.” Froman used a Citigroup email address. He attached three documents: a list of women for top administration jobs, a list of non-white candidates, and a sample outline of 31 cabinet-level positions and who would fill them. “The lists will continue to grow,” Froman wrote to Podesta, “but these are the names to date that seem to be coming up as recommended by various sources for senior level jobs.”
This was October 6. The election was November 4. And yet Froman, an executive at Citigroup, which would ultimately become the recipient of the largest bailout from the federal government during the financial crisis, had mapped out virtually the entire Obama cabinet, a month before votes were counted. And according to theFroman/Podesta emails, lists were floating around even before that.
Many already suspected that Froman, a longtime Obama consigliere, did the key economic policy hiring while part of the transition team. We didn’t know he had so much influence that he could lock in key staff that early, without fanfare, while everyone was busy trying to get Obama elected. The WikiLeaks emails show even earlier planning; by September the transition was getting pre-clearance to assist nominees with financial disclosure forms.

 

We certainly want an incoming administration to be well-prepared and ready to go when power is transferred. For Obama, coming into office while the economy was melting down, this was particularly true. But the revelations also reinforce the need for critical scrutiny of Hillary Clinton, and for advocacy to ensure the next transition doesn’t go like the last, at least with respect to the same old Democrats scooping up all the positions of power well in advance.

Many liberal pundits have talked about the need to focus exclusively on Donald Trump, and the existential threat he presents, in the critical period before Election Day. And there is a logic to that idea: Trump would legitimately be a terrifying leader of the free world. But there are consequences to the kind of home-team political atmosphere that rejects any critical thought about your own side. If the 2008 Podesta emails are any indication, the next four years of public policy are being hashed out right now, behind closed doors. And if liberals want to have an impact on that process, waiting until after the election will be too late.
Who gets these cabinet-level and West Wing advisory jobs matters as much as policy papers or legislative initiatives. It will inform executive branch priorities and responses to crises. It will dictate the level of enforcement of existing laws. It will establish the point of view of an administration and the advice Hillary Clinton will receive. Its importance cannot be stressed enough, and the process has already begun.
The wing of the Democratic Party concerned about personnel decisions made its opinion known almost two years ago. Dan Geldon, now chief of staff to Senator Elizabeth Warren, met with Dan Schwerin, a top adviser to Clinton’s campaign, in January 2015. According to an email follow-up with Podesta and others, Geldon “was intently focused on personnel issues, laid out a detailed case against the Bob Rubin school of Democratic policy makers.” He was also “very critical of the Obama administration’s choices.”
The “Bob Rubin school” is named for the former top executive at Goldman Sachs and Citigroup and first Clinton administration Treasury secretary. It is composed precisely of the kinds of Democrats that the Warren wing opposes on domestic policy, particularly on financial matters. In the Obama administration, that school won out. Froman, chief of staff to Rubin at Treasury, gave options for Treasury secretary that ranged from Rubin himself to Summers and Geithner, two of his key protégés. In another 2008 email Rubin imagined for himself a “Harry Hopkins” position in the Obama administration, referring to Franklin Roosevelt’s top adviser.
The Rubin school dictated the Obama administration’s light-touch policy on bank misconduct (which resulted in no serious legal or fiduciary consequences for the major players) and its first-term approach to the financial crisis (which was defined by a stimulus package that even at the time was criticized for being woefully inadequate, as well as a premature turn to budget-cutting). These are exactly the flaws that Geldon, Warren’s emissary, stressed. According to Schwerin, he “spoke repeatedly about the need to have in place people with ambition and urgency who recognize how much the middle class is hurting and are willing to challenge the financial industry.”
Around the same time as that meeting with Geldon, the Clinton campaign wassetting up a dinner meeting with its economic policy team, Geithner, Summers, and members of the investment firm Blackstone (along with Teresa Ghilarducci, a retirement security researcher).
This is a fight over who dominates the Democratic Party’s policy thinking in the short and long term. In 2008 the fight was invisible and one-sided, and the fix was in. In 2016 both sides are angling to get Clinton to adopt their framework. Those predisposed to consider Clinton some neoliberal sap might not agree, but this is actually a live ball. Presidents lead coalitions, and they have to understand where their coalition is and how things change over time. Peter Orszag this week suggested a trade-off: Give the Warren wing its choices on personnel, in exchange for more leeway to negotiate an infrastructure package with Republicans that gives big tax breaks to corporations with money stashed overseas. While that deal needs more detail, it reveals the power the Warren wing has, relative to the Obama era, to make significant strides on appointments.
Which side will win? The rank and file can actually have a voice in this, to make it known what personnel decisions would be acceptable or unacceptable. They can’t do it by ignoring evidence or sitting on their hands. The demand to only hold one thing in your head at a time—that Trump must be stopped—would squander this opportunity.
 It's been a while since I posted anything,
I think from now on this will become my daily journal.
This is a good example of my latest feelings of our Governmental structure,
and problems therein:

A Tale of Two Leaks


While elites prepare to celebrate yet another victory for neoliberalism, dissent is growing on the margins and these voices will not be silenced, regardless of who’s in the White House.
-Howard Zinn
There were two major revelations on the Friday before the 2nd presidential debate, one of which got a lot more media attention than the other. An 11 year old tape of Donald Trump saying more reprehensible things, even stating that sexual assault is perfectly fine if you’re famous, put him on the defensive and lost him the endorsements of many high profile Republicans.
Although Trump surrogates made the point that the tape was more than a decade old, it wasn’t as if it was some kind of youthful indiscretion, the man was 59 years old at the time. His excuse that it was, “locker room talk,” offers further proof of his unsuitability to lead a beauty contest let alone the most powerful country in the world.
However, there was a great deal of hypocrisy emanating from people who didn’t have much to say when Trump called Mexicans rapists and said he would ban Muslims from traveling to the United States, among so many other vile things. We’ve heard enough of this buffoon denigrating women in public to realize that he probably says (and does) much worse things in private.
The same day, in an odd coincidence, the latest Wikileaks went online. The documents, said to come from the Gmail account of John Podesta, Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager, are part of a series of releases Julien Assange has referred to as an ‘October Surprise’. With thousands of documents made public so far, some of which directly contradict things Hillary Clinton has said during the campaign, the leak should have been big news but was largely overshadowed by Trump’s boorishness and only brought another round of Russia bashing from her campaign and the corporate press.
In fact, the Wikileaks documents were arguably more newsworthy than the Trump video, as they revealed some of the contents of Hillary Clinton’s paid speeches to big banks and other corporate interests that she’d refused to release during the campaign. Considering what they have exposed, maybe the establishment media’s silence should have been expected.
A second release on Monday and a third on Wednesday revealed even more potentially damaging information, pointing to possible media collusion with the Democrat’s campaign, as well as further information about how some of her surrogates felt about Clinton’s primary opponent Bernie Sanders and his supporters, who one Clinton supporter had called “self-righteous ideologues” in an email in the first release.
Even Donna Brazile, a supposedly neutral figure brought in to chair the DNC after the last series of leaks, seemed to have provided Clinton’s campaign with one of the questions for a March 12th townhall where the candidate faced off against Senator Sanders. Brazile, who was a contributor to CNN at the time, has publicly denied this.
It should be remembered that what happens in American media doesn’t happen in a vacuum and that it is often mirrored in other countries, especially English speaking ones. In the UK,  Jeremy Corbyn, the left wing Labor Party leader, has faced similar challenges from an openly hostile establishment and mainstream press as Bernie Sanders did during the American primary, although he seems to have weathered the storm.
A Two Headed Neoliberal Monster
John Podesta, whose emails, including various chains that had messages that appear to be from the candidate herself, is an interesting figure. A quintessential Washington insider, he served as Chief of Staff for Bill Clinton and later Counselor to President Obama. He was also President, then Chair, of the Center for American Progress, a liberal think tank that also produces the popular Think Progress blog.
Political influence seems to be a family affair. Podesta’s brother, Tony, is one of the most powerful lobbyists in Washington, DC . A New York Times story from 2000 investigated the company the two brothers started, podesta.com, saying it, “boasts of its ability to build coalitions uniting Republicans and Democrats, corporations and consumer groups, and competing companies in the same industry.”
In Clinton’s paid speeches, as revealed by an an 80 page review of ‘flags’ from them contained in the leaks and posted to documentcloud.org by Intercept reporter Lee Fang, the candidate calls for two “moderate, pragmatic’ parties working in unison on most issues, especially trade. This sounds a lot like what podesta.com was created to do from another angle.
Even Clinton defenders should be willing to admit something she herself says multiple times over the course of the 80 pages: that she is out of touch with the struggles of ordinary people. In late October of 2013 she told a Goldman Sachs audience that “There is such a bias against people who have led successful and/or complicated lives. You know the divestment of assets, the stripping of all kinds of positions, the sale of stocks. It just becomes very onerous and unnecessary.”
This comes off as especially tone deaf when one understands the context, talking about the waning fortune of multi-millionaire former Treasury Secretary Robert Rubin due to his time in government. On business, Clinton often sounds like a Republican, especially behind closed doors.
The main difference between Clinton’s Democrats and most of the Republican Party seems to be on some social issues (although even in this the differences are often cosmetic, Hillary Clinton long opposed gay marriage until it became politically expedient to support it) and the rhetoric they employ to woo voters. A big part of what allowed Trump to succeed is the fact that a large part of the Republican base believes that their leaders have failed to live up to their promises and racist dog whistles.
It says something about the sad state of the American left that one of their natural constituencies, working class whites, blames minorities, environmental regulations and even unions for the deterioration of their standard of living. Trump has offered a ham fisted critique of the establishment in this campaign, notable for its elevation of style over substance. The real challenge to neo-liberalism came from Bernie Sanders but the American media was at the ready to tar both men with the same ‘populist’ brush.
Clinton herself got close to the truth about politicians from both parties when she was quoted telling Goldman Sachs employees, “I mean, politics is like sausage being made, It is unsavory, and it always has been that way, but we usually end up where we need to be. But if everybody’s watching, you know, all of the back room discussion and the deals, you know, then people get a little nervous, to say the least. So, you need both a public and a private position.”
A New Era of Dissent
During last Sunday’s debate, Clinton often came back to Russia in replying to Trump’s attacks, mirroring the press’s reaction to the Wikileaks documents. This was one of the few areas where the Republican candidate was able to reply intelligently, although with all the anti-Russian propaganda in the air, its likely it was mostly lost on the audience, “I think it would be great if we got along with Russia because we could fight ISIS together, as an example, but I don’t know Putin. But I notice, anytime anything wrong happens, they like to say the Russians, well she doesn’t know if it’s the Russians doing the hacking.”
In order to spin the leaks, the Clinton campaign and now the Obama administration have claimed that they originated with the Russian government, which they have gone on to say is trying to help Trump win the election. These accusations allow for a bipartisan consensus to develop that Wikileaks is at the very best a dupe of the Kremlin, at worst an actual agent of the Russian government, although as even Trump knows, there is zero proof of this.
On Wednesday, after the leak of almost 1200 more emails, while speaking to journalists on a campaign flight, Podesta went even further in his theorizing, trying to tie occasional Trump surrogate, the odious Roger Stone, to the Russians and, by association, Wikileaks, saying, “I think there is definitely circumstantial evidence that Mr. Stone must have been witting about what was to come. It’s a reasonable assumption or at least a reasonable conclusion that Mr. Stone had advance warning about what Assange was going to do.”
If anyone outside of the political establishment were making such claims about an American ally, say Israel, trying to influence US elections based on such flimsy evidence they would be easily dismissed as a ‘conspiracy theorist’. The attempt to tie Roger Stone to Wikileaks requires an audience that knows nothing about either and, far too often, the mainstream American media fits this description.
Although Trump brought up the disastrous situation in Libya during the debate, which Clinton is still trying to claim as a success, his inability to present any evidence made what should have been a strong attack nearly incomprehensible. There is plenty of ammunition in her speeches, including one in which Clinton blames the chaos that ensued on the lack of ‘institutions’ in the country. This would probably come as a surprise to many ordinary Libyans who enjoyed the highest standard of living in Africa at the time of the NATO intervention and now face the daily dangers of a failed state.
It’s just my opinion, but the greatest gift the Clinton campaign could have received was an opponent like Trump, whose ignorance of almost everything has allowed her to coopt a lot of the Republican base while making very limited concessions to the left wing of the Democratic Party. As we have seen during the tenure of President Obama, gridlock in Washington rarely crosses over into international affairs, whether the issue is trade or a military intervention.
Russia has once again been put into the role of official enemy, with China waiting in the wings, and I don’t see Clinton or her surrogates doing anything to alleviate the tension. To the contrary, she seems to be calling for at minimum, a new Cold War. This no doubt pleases the defense contractors who have poured money into her campaign.
And it isn’t even on this alone that Secretary Clinton has demonized Russian President Putin and his government. In a speech in the summer of 2014, Clinton, who at the time was pro-fracking, claimed that the Russian government was sponsoring “phony environmental groups” to fight against pipeline projects and fracking.
A cynic might conclude that the claims of Russian puppeteers behind every group or individual who opposes Clinton are a deflection from the candidate’s actual record. What we’re learning from these hacks, which reveal a lot about her real thinking when it comes to international trade and foreign policy is that, as Noam Chomsky said years ago, “In the US, there is basically one party – the business party. It has two factions, called Democrats and Republicans, which are somewhat different but carry out variations on the same policies.”
Take for example, Senator John McCain. On Syria, on Russia and, until very recently, on the TPP there is very little difference between his positions and those of the former Secretary of State.
One silver lining from the likely Clinton victory is, unlike Obama in 2009, the American public is well aware of her flaws and the fact that she is an unrepentant neoliberal and hawk. Looking back, one of the most disappointing things about Obama’s victory was that a growing antiwar movement that crossed lines from the anti-interventionist right to the progressive left was stifled by the latter who would brook no criticism of the President. It seems unlikely that a President Clinton will be given the same leeway.
If we look beyond the US’s binary political system, we see a lot of hope for the future coming from mass movements, many of them leaderless in the conventional sense. From Standing Rock to Black Lives Matter to Occupy Wall Street, the concept of direct democracy is entering the politics of western democracies in ways that couldn’t have been imagined even a generation ago. While elites prepare to celebrate yet another victory for neoliberalism, dissent is growing on the margins and these voices will not be silenced, regardless of who’s in the White House.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

How can you know the UN-knowable?
Not knowing,
Not no'ing or denying any possibility,
Here is the gateless gate
which is available to all.
Not knowing at first may seem quite simple, yet.....
Once you experience Not,
and then accept it,
you now know
which is.......
By seeing and acknowledging it,
you have lost your way.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014



All that which does not strengthen a man is simply,
misunderstood.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Tanner's 18th B-day note:

One morning I woke up to the best gift ever, about a week after my 18th birthday.  Everything was new.  The color of the walls, the beeping sounds around me, the blinking lights, an oh, the mass amount of new and ever so friendly people.  I didn't initially know who they where, but they tried to tell me.
It was weird at first, but exciting to hear of your own history, for the first time, and be impatient to learn about what happened next.  Things were uncomfortable at first, yet, everyone around me was so accommodating, I began to wonder why.
This is what started me on examining myself, inside and out.  Trying to piece together my current surroundings, and these odd and random tales I was hearing from all those around me.  It was pretty exciting you see, each night I was allowed to go outside and watch the fireworks.
Fireworks, 4th of July, yeah, I remembered that's what symbolizes that hooliday!  But wait, that's only supposed to be for one night a year.  This is happening every night?  More confusion added to the pile, oh well.   Time to return to my bed, and get strapped back in with my chains.  I started wondering and asking questions about that too.
Why do I need these restraints, I'm not trying to get away.  Or, maybe I should, I'm being chained up here.  I even started devising escape routes and plans with some of these people that told me they were my closest of friends back in the day.  I was later told it was for my own good, better for me, so that's O.K....
But why?
I started recognizing the people who were coming to visit me, and even having some memories of my history with them, random and scattered of course.  But, to this day, I can't tell you if they were real memories, or the ones I was just told about or even wanted to have.  This is where I figured out how each person's 'true' past is really only their own conception of what happened.  Just the way 'they' remembered it.  How much truth is in this history, how can I ever trust and accept it?  This is when I was told about religion, it was all meant to happen, for your own good.  Just have faith, and all will be all right...
But wait!
You want me to stop thinking, and questioning the details  of my past and current situation to STOP my worrying about my future?  That doesn't make any sense to me, God damn it!   I'm finally getting a grip on things here and now your telling me, for my own benefit of course, to STOP questioning things?  It was at this point I was informed of why I was able to see fireworks every night.  We were located right next door to Disneyland.  Oh, the amount of new memories came pouring back to me about that place!!!
I was being moved to many different places, new situations and new challenges.  It kept me entertained having so many new people to meet and area's to explore.  I was like a little kid in a candy store, couldn't keep my hands off the merchandise.  My new cell mates were of a different caliber though, they seemed a little odd.  They acted much differently than anyone I had met at the place with the fireworks.  More wheel chairs, odd responses to my questions, strange behaviors with everyday things.  It was at this point when all these people that I was beginning to have memories about started telling me how lucky I was.
Lucky!  To be here with all these lunatic's?!?!
Wow!  I'm remembering what is supposed to be normal, and I am not it.
I am one of those lunatic's...
This is where I started having memories of my own past, as well as questioning my own feeling about those memories.  I was going through adolescence all over again, not much fun if you know what I mean being 18 and all...
I remember never being comfortable with all these un-certainties, struggling for answers to these never ending question's to give me some peace of mind.  I used to go to church with my best friend, but never really listened.  I was mainly waiting for the breakfast that followed at a fancy restaurant called Baxter's.  I even remember going there with one of the pastor's, I had come with his daughter.  She didn't seem to pay much attention to the sermon's either, she dated about as many different people as me.  She had a child her junior year of high school.  Now she's way more religious.
My friend and I had many debates over this God issue, but usually only came down to him saying  I just didn't understand.  I didn't have enough faith in God, and that's all I would ever need to answer all my questions.  Of course that was never enough to quench my thirst for answers.  That's what makes human's 'Superior beings?', is it not?
Our advanced abilities to ponder, rationalize, and explore this neveer ending maze of a world around us.  At this time I realized what provided  this peace through religion,  acceptance.  But what am I supposed to accept?  There are so many religions out there, and haven't they caused most of the conflict and death by the people on this earth?  How can I accept anything of that sort, doesn't make any sense to me.  Just stop thinking about it, and just be happy.  That's all it's supposed to take, right?
Well, enough about my persistent pandering about the meaning of life, the answers to questions that have none.  This is where the power lies in finding your own peace.  Finding the answer to all those questions is very liberating.  That answer lies in the question's very self.  What is wrong with uncertainty?  Why do I need any answer's?  What is wrong with just being happy?  This is where the miracle of life became apparent to me.
Success in life is of your own making.  What is success?, that's the first myth to be revealed.  What matters most to you, and how are you going to get it?
My first and favorite friend since I 'awoke' to the  fireworks,  I met when I was living in La Jolla.  I felt so comfortable with him, I used to talk his ear off, endlessly.  The expressions he would give in response were so precious.  He was a great listener, maybe because his head injury had made him a paraplegic mute in an electric wheelchair?  But, never the less, he was my closet friend during the hardest time of my life.  And yet, I do not remember his name.
Details, details, details.....
Labels are so worthless, memories of his smiles to my jokes will always be with me.  These are the things I am grateful for.  This is where I put my faith, in my happiness which I hope will influence your's other's as well.
'Faith in happiness', you may ask?  The positive energy and warmness these thought's automatically bring is proof enough for me to know their right.  The power and energy they give provide the strength to tackle the biggest of life's challenges.  One of my favorite 'prayers' is from Bob Marley, 'Don't worry, just be happy now......'
This 'faith' of mine is what allows me such great delight in all of life's events.   Whether it's walking through a field of fragrant daffodils enjoying the breeze upon my face, or the reverberating echo's of my footsteps while walking through the mud in the refreshing rain.  I think this is what is meant by 'One's happiness is in your own hands', and it requires your own effort and perseverance to find and experience it.  Enjoying it will be automatic, no effort required.
Again, we will return to that incredible gift I recieved, the one I referred to earlier.   Have you been able to figure out what gift I am referring to?  That provides me with all the peace and comfort that I now enjoy.  I will leave you with this  one hint,
I now know not to kNOw, ya know.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Omnipotent Meditation

Meditation
enables us to find our own inner hum,
or Om,
and enables us the best chance
to align ourselves with this
Omnipotent, all powerful,
life energy,
and experience its Blissssss.....
...to get to this place
is simple.
Just focus on the ringing between
your ears.
Enable yourself to
Hear the silence, and
Experience it,
and only it,
Whatever it may be...

Friday, September 25, 2009

Picture our being,
is it a window of opportunity,
or a pile of waste,
simply being flushed away
??????????????
Hopefully,
you are able to see both!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

DailyMeditation

My Four Little Ladies
O.K., let me start things off right here. To begin with, I have always thought about women toooooo........ much. What will they think?, what would they say?, yada yada yada... Since moving up to Washington recently, and being secluded indoors much more frequently than I am used to by the weather, I have done a whole hell of a lot more thinking about things and my life, in general. What has resulted, in my opinion of course, is an "enlightened" view of the world and the people who live upon it.

To show you all what I am talking about here I will give you descriptions of the four 'Little Women' in my life. We will go in the order that each of them came into my life. There is no difference between them being mentioned first or last, being better or worse. It's not like I would have learned anything that I could have used from them, at the time I was with them, to make my choices any better, any way. I'm a guy, always thinking with the wrong head, you get the picture.

First, there's Gurt. She is very rough around the edges in a real dismissive kind of way. Gurt doesn't really care about anyone else on this planet, or what they think. She makes all her own choices and decisions upon her own reasoning, and fears. Gurt has not had too happy of a life. Growing up on the side of the street, in a small town, none the less. No body ever paid her much attention, and or to her family. In fact, they were almost seen as pests, not wanted by society. No one took the time to admire there stern and simpy apparent honest character. They will live off what they can, and do the best with what they are given to live with. Gurt stands straight and isolated from the group of my little women. She doesn't like, even the appearance of, being similar to anyone, and or thing, out there. Those demons! It's like she is standing in a ball of flames. Stamping down all of those hellish influences out in the world today. I just wish that, at one time in her life, she would be able to see and appreciate those burning embers for the beauty and powerful purpose that they posess. In my opinion, if Gurt would have ever stopped, sat down and thought about all of these fears and influence's, things could have been more positive in here life. By things I don't just mean 'material' possesions, but thought's and feeling and relationships as well. It doesn't take my degree in Psychology to realize the affect one's emotions have upon their personality, actions, and eventually life's product and outcome.

Now, onto the second of my fourt little women, Earlene. She was from the same area as Gurt, had all the same influences. Yet, she turned out much differently. She has a much bigger concern with the public's opinion. She likes to wear the long, sweepeing and flowing dresses, always searching for one's eye. It always appears she is reaching out for one's attention. Even though she was not the most beautiful of things. She was a little older than the rest, more brown and gray, and faded by lifes trials and the energy that they drained from her. She had even put a fire pit in her front yard to throw all of the town's parties at. She always considered other's opinions before her own, feelling that would make her more acceptable. You know what I mean?, kinda leaning over to be in the middle of the crowd?

Oh, Daisey-May, Daisey-May, Daisey-May. She was the worst of them all. Her biggest influence was not what the public thought of her, but the impression that she didn't care what they thought of her. She was a very attractive and pert little thing, on her good days. If you could only see her in the mornings, when she was naked. She looked like a skinny little coat rack, with no coats. It takes the spring to get her made up all nice and pretty like. She has a slim figure, with very pronounced curves. All of her appearance was highly attended to.The color of her clothes was always bright, but with little faded sections just to accent the whole outfit. She was the type of lady that when she 'gave' anyone anything, she would reach out less than half the way to give it to you. This, of course, in attempts to have and make others give extra effort when dealing with her, whether they wanted to or not. In the same light, she had even put up bright and shiny stepping stones on a steep and curving trail to her front door, at which, she had a very plush and soft velvet chair for one to sit upon and rest while in her presence. Doesn't she sound like someone you'd choose to admire (worship)?

The last of my teachers is Betty. She is a cute girl, a little on the chubby side. She was as bright and shiney as Daisey-May, but not in an arrogant kind'a way. She was much like Earlene, but with a much more 'showy' type of presentation. She had a couple little one's always at her feet, but she always tried to stand tall and be above them. Not wanting to give the impression of being 'just another house Mom'. Betty always had her hair up in pig tails, or braids, or this and that, giving that buoyant appearrance to her. She was always in a positive and happy type of mood, but I would always be able to see beyond all of that. She still had that lean to her. Do you know what I'm talking about here? She was more concerned with other's opinions before her own. Always reaching into the crowd to feel as part of the group?

My four little ladies are of great importance to me. Not for their appearance, or sense of pride I get from their presence. No, for the lesson's they've taught me, and will forever continue to educate me of my own human nature. It makes me feel secure how they are always at my door for my every beck and call. I never have to worry about feeling isolated, because they will always be there for me. All they need from me is an occasional little loving attention. Please, please, please, don't be offended by my words here. Just have a look at my beloved little ladies here....

Current Understanding

Buddha Nature

Living life instinctually,

enabling actions to proceed

without the need for thoughts, judgments, opinions,

conscious behavior.

Only living with no needs,

desires,

or awareness of justification.

Just 'Being'

and active upon any and all

instincts is all that's needed.

There ought not be any worries about

taking wrong or negative actions

due to our Original, Positive, compassionate base nature.

Making the compassionate and

loving emotional, chemical reactions through our pancreas

is all of our bodies most beneficial and

primitive response to those thought/action sensation episodes in life.

What causes it to be so difficult for humans

is all of the excess thought and energy

that runs through our enlarged parietal lobes,

or as one may call them, our deformity/handicap.

All of these extra details

humans feel the need to run through our brains

(to ?, to rationalize, to categorize good/bad)

is what we have been trained and mislead to believe as being beneficial.

By living and thinking and behaving this way

is what we respect as maturity.

Think of a child's actions,

especially when they are all alone.

Aren't they generally smiling,

and enjoying what ever it may be?

If it wasn't for the 'Adult' interference

and attempts of guiding and teaching their child in the ways of the world,

would we have this same excessive amount of

negative human behaviors and or problems?

These over sized brains have caused this 'Intelligence',

are generalized incertainities and feelings of discomfort

due to our brains needs,

a rational/logical/intellectually justifiable reasoning.

(Common Sense?!?)

Isn't the quality of not needing a reason more common?

It is only us humans upon this earth,

out of all of the other forms of life and our reality,

that have this 'Need' for a reason.

Does this really make us more intelligent???

Monday, July 9, 2007

most current 'dumb ass' realization

I have finally gained an attribute that many struggle to enable. I have no true desire for wealth, possesion, or prosperity. I have set a lifestyle in which my necessities are covered.

My first failing is allowing past due child support to still accrue to an outrageous level. This is what has controlled my actions since my seperation/divorce. Putting it off as it wasn't important just made it an impossible debt to overcome. I am taking steps now to get it under control, but it will take much of one of our most important traits, patience.

The second failing is with my physical well being. I have become grotesquelly fat. I like to blame my love of cooking for this, but it can't take all the blame. Me being a lazy ass letting depression lead the way was no excuse. I need to stop this lack of concern for myself. This not only causes dangers for my own well being, but that of my family's emotionsl states. I, in no way ever, want to impose any negative energy towards my family.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I don't understand why so many people have a problem dealing with the things 'right now!' I'snt that what life is, anyway. Right now, make things better and have no regrets for the future. It seems pretty simple to me.